Perhaps we are not aware of how important what we tell our children about themselves is, about who they are, their qualities, and their flaws. And not just what we tell them directly, but also what we say about them to other people while they are present.
For example, it might be common after a day or an afternoon with them, when dad or mom comes home, for us to vent our tiredness by telling them in front of the child how rough he is, how naughty he is, how selfish he has been, or how badly he has behaved, etc.
However, we should not forget that the image we project of them contributes greatly to shaping the image they have of themselves and has a great influence on their self-esteem and self-confidence. If we use this influence in a positive sense, we can help them to improve day by day; if, on the other hand, without realizing it, we use it negatively, we can cause them great harm.
If we spend the day telling our child that he is clumsy, he will probably end up being so because the image he has of himself will also be that. When he has to do an exercise that requires a certain skill, he will start to think that he can't, because he is clumsy, and he will give up at the first attempt. If, on the contrary, we emphasize his positive aspects and highlight his progress in what he is not so good at, we will encourage him to continue striving and therefore to improve and overcome challenges.
This brings to mind a story I read some time ago that can help our children to put into perspective what others say about them or their abilities. It went something like this:
Once upon a time, some little frogs decided to have a race to climb a hill. Everyone in the town thought it was impossible for them to succeed. The race began, and everyone started booing them, laughing at them, and telling them they wouldn't make it, that they were too small and clumsy, and that it was impossible for them to climb that high, that they should give up. As the race progressed, the little frogs started giving up until finally only one little frog remained, who continued and managed to climb the hill. Everyone in the town was astonished that she had been able to do it. When they asked her how she had managed, the little frog replied: "What, what, what?". They realized that this little frog was deaf; she heard nothing. She hadn't understood what people had told her, and furthermore, she thought everyone was cheering her on...
Probably, if that little frog had heard, she would have given up too. That is the power that what others tell us has over us.
Let's help our children to always believe in their abilities.
I hope you liked it. Feel free to comment on whatever you want!
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