Last night I was trying to put my daughter to sleep, she tossed and turned, rubbed her eyes, and kept making all sorts of faces and gestures... there was no way she would fall asleep. You could tell she was sleepy because whenever she tells me her eyes are itching, it's because she's exhausted, but the fact is she couldn't fall asleep, and I tried everything: stories, lullabies...
Suddenly, without me saying anything, she said: "Mommy, I don't want to go to sleep because tomorrow when I wake up you won't be here, you'll be working and I don't want that..."
As you can imagine, it almost disarmed me... and I understood the anguish she felt knowing that after a weekend together, Monday was coming, "school" and with it mom's work, and dad's too, of course.
One of the things motherhood brings you is a return to your childhood, and I myself still remember some of my tantrums clinging to my mother's leg so she wouldn't go to work... and I remember that feeling of helplessness when she left... that's why I understood her so well...
I tried to explain that I was only going for a little while, that I had to, but that I would be back with her soon... but the truth is that at three years old you can't expect them to understand, at most to accept it and that's it.
During the first years of life, children need their parents a lot... to spend time with them and to know that they are there. However, modern society makes it increasingly difficult to balance work and family life. Parents suffer from it, but above all, our children suffer from it.
I'm transcribing a paragraph from an article by Carlos González on the topic of infant attachment in the first years of life. This pediatrician talks about how important the affection and security we give our children in their early years are.
Unfortunately, mothers sometimes hear advice like "don't pick him up, don't breastfeed him, don't play with him so much... if he gets used to it, he'll suffer more when you have to go back to work." But then the suffering is greater, and from the very first day; the only thing that decreases is the external manifestation of that suffering. No, on the contrary, give your child all the affection and all the physical contact you can, for as long as you can. Let them have the best start.
After three years, and especially after five, that good start yields clear results. These are then the children who had a more intense relationship with their mother, more cuddles, more contact, more games, who adapt best to separation. Because the unlimited affection of the first years has given them the self-confidence and confidence in the world they need to begin the path to independence. Now they are happy at school, and it is true happiness and not simple apathy, a happiness based on the security that their mother will return and will continue to love them.
What do you think about this topic?
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