A few weeks ago, I read a post by a father who was surprised because, contrary to what he thought, he had discovered that his daughters liked Charles Chaplin movies and was stunned to see them laugh out loud at the film "The Kid."
This led me to think... how many times do we underestimate our children? How many times, without realizing it, do we tend to make everything easy for them to ensure they won't fail? How many times do we avoid taking risks or trying new things, or having them try new things, for fear that it won't work?
I can think of many examples where this has happened to me personally. I remember, for instance, my daughter's rejection of green beans when she was 2 years old. She's a child who likes to eat and usually tries new things, but in this case, the "rejection" was total and absolute... and the truth is, it took me almost a year to put them on her plate again (because I was convinced that the same thing would happen if I did)... and what was my surprise when I found out that now she not only likes them but loves them (with tomato, though).
Our brain tends to establish BELIEFS based on particular experiences, considering them as certainties, even at the risk of being wrong...
The process is as follows:
1. We have an intense experience that may or may not be repeated.
2. From that experience, we draw conclusions.
3. From those conclusions, we generalize, thinking it will always be this way.
4. We take it as a certainty.
Our beliefs incredibly condition our interpretation of reality and our actions.
We all have beliefs, and it is based on them that we act, absolutely convinced that they are great TRUTHS. If I establish in my brain, based on a terrible first experience, the belief that my daughter hates green beans, I will not give them to her again because before giving her the chance to try them again, I will already be assuming that she will completely reject them again... It can also happen that I "detest" green beans and assume that the same will happen to my daughter... or that I'm terrible at any activity (skating, painting, singing, etc.) or find it very difficult, and I don't even give my children the opportunity to try them...
How many things can we apply this pattern to? And how many opportunities do we deprive our children of because of it?
That's where it's worth reflecting:
- Review our beliefs from time to time. What things are we stopping doing because of them? How could that be changed? What if we try again?
- Dare to introduce them to new things, even if it might seem at first that they will reject them... I am completely sure that they will surprise us!!
- Remember that the easiest path is not always the best. If we always offer our children what we already know they like (food, cartoons, clothes, games, activities, etc.), it is clear that we will NOT fail, but we will be neglecting to offer them so many things... they will be missing out on so much... that I think it's worth at least making the effort to try and change it.
If you liked this post, share it!
